Oy vey

Lots of emotions running through me tonight.

But overall life is good =)

Here's to a good week!

It's been a while

Hello blog, it's been a while and a lot has gone down since my last post.

I just wrote a 10 page blog about everything that has been going on, and everything I have been thinking. Then I deleted it. It was too long for even me to make sense of it. But, I've changed a lot lately, so this is the summary of what has happened and who I am now.

A year ago, I was an insecure guy who was always worrying that someone might not like me. I had dreams, but no idea how to make them realities. I knew who I was as a person, but being afraid of how others would see me kept me from realizing my true potential and making my dreams come true.

Now I have an even better grasp of who I am, and I'm not afraid to go for those goals. I am a good guy, and a funny guy (often at my own expense), and a smart guy, probably the most caring guy you'll ever meet, and I like who I am. I'm not being cocky at all, I'm just saying that I'm so over changing myself into a version of Joe that I think people might like better. I think it's better to be a true person that is loved by a handful of people, than a fake person that is loved by crowd.

I'm finally getting out of Modesto, and moving to the city of my dreams. At times it's a petrifying venture, but I could not be more excited. It will be like a fresh start in a lot of ways. I know exactly what I want in life, and I know what it's going to take to get there.

I've realized that I will never be the Nureyev I'd hoped to become when I was younger, but I'm not an awful dancer either. I'm content with dancing wherever I can, for as long as I can. My love for ballet is too great to just let go of it and move on with something else.

Modeling is really starting to take off, more than I ever thought it would. Never in a million years did I think I'd ever be signed with a modeling agency, but here I am. I still don't think of myself as a "model", but it's done loads for my self-confidence and more and more I'm loving the skin I'm in. I know I'll never be the face of Gucci or Burberry, but I know I can succeed in this industry if I work hard, and I'm not afraid to go for it. So that's exactly what I'm going to do.

My thirst for a higher education still hasn't been quenched, but I don't have the time to commit to a proper college. So for now, I'm continuing my studies at a college in San Francisco, studying real estate, business, and finance principles. My ultimate goal is to save the money I make modeling, so that when I stop I have a nest-egg that is large enough to open my own store. Picture a set-up similar to Saks Men's that specializes in designer menswear. I think I'll call it "Joe's" =P

Dancing, modeling, business . . . I want it all but what I want more than anything is a family. I've grown closer to my family in this last year than I thought was possible. I didn't know I could feel such a sincere and strong feeling of togetherness and love. My parents are incredible people, and I could not be more proud of my brother.

The love my parents have for each other and for my brother and I have helped me realize that all I really want out of life is a family of my own. A husband and kids. Not anytime soon, but definitely someday. What good is it to have a fierce apartment, a closet of Gucci, Louis, and Prada, and a hot new Benz if you don't have a partner to share your life with and kids to love and raise.

So I guess . . . in conclusion . . . of this grammatically incorrect and poorly written excuse of a "blog": I feel I have a better grasp of who I truly am than I ever have before. I have big dreams, but I feel like I am on the cusp of turning them into a reality. I have an incredible family, and few truly incredible friends who help me be the best person I can be.

Bring it on life. I'm ready for ya.

2010 Resolutions

More like the things I must do or I will drive off a cliff.

For the two of you that read this =P

- Be happy

- Get a professional ballet company contract

- Sign with a modeling agency

- Be in a relationship for longer than 4 months

- Make new friends

- Strengthen old friendships

- Love and be loved

- Fill the rest of my un-used hangers with fancy clothes =)

CRAP!

I CAN'T REMEMBER VIOLIN!!!

ZzZzZzZ

I NEED to get my sleeping under control! It is midnight and I am a little tired and could probably sleep. I am having a conversation with myself that I don't think many normal people do. Do I go to bed, give my body the rest it is craving, and risk oversleeping? Or do I just pull an all nighter doing homework, cleaning, grocery shopping, and surfing the web just for the assurance that I will be awake at 7:45? Weird. I need to fix this.